11 Life Lessons To Learn From People Who’ve Been In Horrible Relationships

As much as people love to think about only negatives in past relationships, you can also draw experience from someone who left you with emotional baggage and a broken heart.

Brittany Wong of Huffington Post asks that what if instead you looked at a split as an educational experience (albeit a really painful one) that taught you valuable lessons about what you want and absolutely don’t want in your next relationship?

Here are some of the most insightful responses from Reddit and readers below according to Wong:

  1. “You need to preserve your own identity and your space. Embrace your individuality, pursue your interests while sharing some of it as a couple.”

  2. “I learned that in order for someone to hear you, you have to talk, and in order for something to change, you have listen.”

  3. “You need things in common, but not common interests — those will change. You need common values. Take stock of what’s important to you, what’s right and wrong in your world. Find someone who agrees with that and everything else will come together, more or less.”

  4. “Never assume malice when stupidity will suffice. In other words, never assume your significant other is up to something if they could possibly just be ignorant of the fact that it looks like they are up to something.”

  5. “You can’t love enough for both people.”

  6. “Even if it doesn’t work out, marriage and a divorce can make you a stronger and kinder person.”

  7. “You’re not obliged to set yourself on fire in order to keep somebody else warm.”

  8. “Don’t let the fear of being alone lead you to deny what you really want. Hold on tightly to personal integrity.”

  9. “To recognize and show appreciation for the love given by that other person in your life on a daily basis. They need to actually hear it. I should have said it more often.”

  10. “You have to ask yourself: ‘If you were someone of the opposite sex, would you date yourself?’ That kind of made me take a look at my own bad habits and behaviors in a different light. Now when I have a fight or a disagreement in my current relationship, I try to make sure I respond in a manner I would want my partner to respond in.”

  11. “Humor and IQ will last longer than good looks.”

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