Most people in serious relationships have one aim – marriage, but how do you know you have met the right one? even if you get married, how would you know it would be “till death do us part”.
In the search for the right one, your anxiousness may lead you to read false or mixed signals and you’ll end up making all the wrong moves. People have different personality types, hence no two dating patterns are the same.
Couple in love play
For those still looking for the right life partner, Shantell E. Jamison of Ebony lists the 5 personalities you get to meet before landing the right one (This list doesn’t apply to everyone):
1. The Crazy One: If you’re still single and have yet to date the crazy type, get ready. They’re too good to be true because, well, it’s a lie. You mistake their fits of rage after finding a text from an associate as “caring.” At first, you’ll perceive their behavior as “a symptom of being in love” instead of the red flag that he/she is controlling and possibly covering up their own tracks. Everyone has allowed their emotions to get the best of them at some point, but this person always does. You’ll find them staked out in front of your crib at three a.m. because you didn’t reply to their text messages right away.
This is one of the few personality types that most won’t deal with for long. Insecure people like this will drive any sane person away fast, but these types usually prey on those with low self-esteem. Their insanity often turns into physical and mental abuse, a tool they use to manipulate and keep you at bay. Hopefully, you’ll be gone before I finish this sentence.
2. The Best Friend: You’ve been friends for quite some time, but are just now noticing that you’re attracted to each other. You know each other: from their favorite foods to that time he slept with his college roommate’s girlfriend. The friendship is too sacred for the relationship not to work, so you go for it. So what your friend cheated on everyone he/she has every dated?! With you it will be different. But it isn’t. The best-friend breakup is particularly bad because you least expect it.
This is someone who knows what you’ve been through and has been that shoulder to lean on during tough times. Now they’re the one causing you harm and you have no shoulder to lean on. Don’t get me wrong; I’ve seen a couple of successful relationships rooted in friendship. But some friends hook up out of desperation and convenience, so don’t take it personal if it doesn’t work out.
3. The Wild Card: With the wild card, you never know what you’re going to get. You’re intrigued by the “danger of it all.” You stick with them for the excitement, and the false belief that you can tame this wild and free soul. Most wild cards have commitment and stability issues, but we see their problems as “living on the edge” or “going with the flow.” Never mind the clusterf*ck of an emotional roller coaster they put you through. These individuals have a stream of short-term relationships that all end due to the “other person’s issues.”
The wild card never takes responsibility for their own actions and will constantly try to manipulate you with passive-aggressive behavior when you call them out on their bull. Trust, this isn’t a ride at the amusement park that you’ll want to wait in line for.
4. The One You Think You Can Save: This is by far the most emotionally draining personality type that you can involve yourself with. The relationship starts off sweet, with your mate showing you signs of a normal person who is warm and interesting. Give it about six weeks. They will have you in tears because you can see “the potential” of how good you can be together, but the reality is anything but. Despite what is being presented, you won’t have sense enough to leave right away because they “need” you. You believe that you can change them and most likely have a strong desire to be needed.
These relationships are particularly damaging because “the victim” is very good at playing the role. For most of the union, they’ll have you wondering what you did wrong (which is nothing), and holding on a bit too long to an already doomed relationship.
5. The Stepping Stone: The stepping stone is always looking for something better. They have no problem using people to fill the void left from an unsuccessful relationship or until the “right one” comes along. They ignore the fact that they’re trading in people as if they are shopping for a car. Unfortunately, you’ll buy into their affections, not knowing that they’re looking for the next best thing.
They are the epitome of selfish and can truly damage your self-esteem. No one is perfect, and many of us have behaved in ways similar to the personality traits described. The difference is that some allow their emotions to get the best of them on occasion, while others dwell in destruction. The point of this list isn’t to tell you that you’ve made horrible choices when dating. It’s meant to encourage you to not give up, to realize that you’ve got to go through some relationship fails to find your mate. Often, we can block love from finding us because we’re looking too hard for it.
Love is something that you just cannot force, because your spirit is what will attract your mate to you. I’ve dated all of the personality types above (and then some), and it hasn’t deterred me. So don’t allow the “nos” to keep you from your “yes,” “amen” and “then some”!