Accounting Inside The Church [A Story] – Season 2, Part 10

When I was through, I decided to go to
Ritababe’s house but my body was not allowing
me to go. I decided to call her line but she
didn’t pick up. After several attempts I gave up
and I went home. As soon as I got home I saw
my neighbour surprisingly.
Me: Mama Tee, e lo mo ni? (Did you change
your mind about the trip?)
Mama Tee: Daddi….. a message was sent
cancelling the training.
ME: so how is my Oga?
Mama Tee: he has left for Lagos. But wait o. I
saw your wife some hours ago.
Me: what? She did not tell me she will be back.
Mama Tee: I did not say that she returned. She
came in took some bags and left.
Me: What the Bleep
I tried calling her lines but it was not reachable.
I tried calling her mum too her number wasn’t
going through too. I decided to wait for some
minutes and decided to use Mama Tee’s
number to call her and funny enough, she
picked it at the first ring
Mama Tee: Wifey….. awayu?
Iyoaye: I dey jare. (I was shocked)
Mama Tee: where you come be now? We all are
missing you…
Iyoaye: hmmm. Aunty Tee oro po ninu iwe kobo
(it is a long story)
Mama Tee: I trust you. But I saw you in the
evening coming to pick your bags
Iyoaye: yes I forgot to take them along.
(where I was I was boiling but I kept my cool)
Mama Tee: but what is happening my dear
Iyoaye: let me whatsapp you. I will explain
better there.
Both of them started chatting. After a couple of
minutes, I hid my number and called her
Me: Iyo what is the bleeping problem with you
I called your number and you switched off
your phone. Kwanu
Iyoaye: (hissed) Mr. Man stop disturbing me.
Me: Iyo Emi How dare you (she ended
the call)
I decided not to call her or her mum that night.
The following morning I called her brother
Me: Sir, ever since my wife claimed to have
travelled, she is not picking my calls again
Mr Franklin: ki lo so wipe oun je t’o fi n s’iwa wu
bayen (what made her bold to act in such a
way )
Me: I don’t know sir. Even I have been trying
mummy since but she has not been picking her
Mr Franklin: oops. Mum has travelled out. She’s
currently in Azerbaijan for a conference. Even
when she called you that day, she was already
in the airport.
Me: ok. Okan mi n sese bale ni (feeling relaxed)
but what about my wife issue?
Mr Franklin: I will talk to her and definitely she
will call you.
Me: thank you sir
Mr Franklin: ok dear. Take care (ends call)
I was getting confused; why would my wife just
changed suddenly? I was in that dilemma when
Halima came and meet me
Halima: Daddi (mimicking her elder sister)
what’s up?
Me: I am not fine o. my wife came yesterday
and took her things away.
Halima: what do you think about it?
Me: I no know. Abeg I am hungry.
Halima wanted to come closer with her Weapon
of Mass Defence but her sister was outside.
After a while my phone rang
Me: hello
Iyoaye: well done Collins. You reported me to
Mama Tee that I didn’t pick your call abi?
Me: emi Mee Iyo, aja ti lo n fe wole t’ekun o
setan lati f’eje we (the dog that want to dare
the tiger should be ready to be used as isi –
ewu) I have been trying to call you since
yesterday and instead of you apologising, you
are shouting at me. HOW DARE YOU
Iyoaye: (hissed and ends call)
Me: (facing Halima) see this ingrate o; insulting
me on the phone
Halima: how is your wife now an ingrate?
Me: she travelled yesterday, I have been trying
to reach her but she was not picking my calls.
Then she is calling me to complain that I
reported her to your sister.
Instead of Halima to talk, she placed a kiss on
my lips. Thereafter, I prepared to go to the
office. When I got to the office, I locked up
myself in the office all day; not attending to
calls, visitors. But I got an SMS from Jane
informing me of her visit. When she came over,
I opened the door for her and exchanging
pleasantries she sat down
Jane: how are you and madam?
Me: we are all fine. What brought the almighty
Jane to my office?
Jane: there is a particular account I observed
you have not been funding so I want to know
Me: hmmm….the account has been moved to
another bank.
Jane: why did you move the account?
Me: acting on the instruction of the church
Jane: hope you wont move the other three
accounts from our branch
Me: it’s left to your bank.
Jane: will you have free time this evening?
Me: technically, and barring all unforeseen
circumstances, I will be free.
Jane: I will text an address to you. Can we meet
by 5pm?
Me: sure. But is it a date? (winking at her)
Jane: (winked back) if you call it so.
Me: ok ooo. I will be expecting your SMS.
Jane: thank you sir.
As she was heading to the door, I hugged her
from behind and squeezed her Weapon of Mass
Defence. A little moan escaped from her and
she turned her head to face me
Jane: don’t let me stain your lips ok?
Me: stain am…….
Jane: don’t worry. We’ll see in the evening.