Mothers will always be mothers. They love to know everything that happens in their children’s lives doesn’t matter what age and sometimes tend to butt into their romantic lives when they become adults.
Most marriage choices are highly influenced by mothers who always say they desire just the best for their children but sometimes these decisions in their children’s love lives could backfire.
Jane Garapick of YourTango lists 4 ways mothers ruin their children’s love lives:
She’s brainwashed you ever since you were a kid. No, really! Researchers have found that the ability to love, trust and work through arguments is developed during infancy and can directly affect behavior in future relationships. If your mother was distant or emotionally cold to you when you were a baby, finding love will feel that much harder for you. Even though these tendencies were developed before you could speak, that doesn’t mean you can’t overcome them.
She set up boundaries for you. We’re naturally programmed to view the type of relationship that our parents had as the norm, so if your parents had a loving, trusting, long-lasting relationship, then you’re in luck. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. With roughly half of marriages ending in divorce, many more on the brink and others that are just downright dysfunctional, the majority of us are following examples that are less than stellar. Studies have shown that children from divorced families are much more likely to have marriages that end in divorce.
She taught you how women are to be treated. But isn’t that a good thing? Here’s the deal. We all grow up subconsciously wanting to be just like mom, so if she let herself be treated poorly, walked on, cheated on or generally disrespected, you’ll find a partner who treats you the same. Alternately, if she was overbearing and constantly berated your father, you’ll fall for the meek, sheepish guy who lets you treat him the same way.
She’s a constant reminder of everything you’re doing wrong. Questions like “Shouldn’t you skip dessert this time?” and “When are you going to find a nice guy and settle down?” are pretty much the norm. Moms have a way of making sure we know what our flaws are. Whether we want to admit it or not, her opinion matters to us and these become ingrained in who we believe we are. These beliefs can have a detrimental effect on our self-esteem, which in turn has a very detrimental effect on our relationships.